I've always loathed rich people, so I've become who I've loathed, which makes it doubly difficult, if you can follow me.

Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

I wasn't making fun of my father in-law's religion. And even if I was so what, it's a comedy. Religion should be made fun of, it's quite ridiculous isn't it. Think how people spend their lives, they have no idea. They go around as if this is a fact. It's so insane you know. If I really believed that stuff I'd keep it to myself. Lest somebody think I was out of my mind.

I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.

You write about what you know.

Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?