I'm trying to elevate small-talk to medium talk.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.

I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.

I wasn't making fun of my father in-law's religion. And even if I was so what, it's a comedy. Religion should be made fun of, it's quite ridiculous isn't it. Think how people spend their lives, they have no idea. They go around as if this is a fact. It's so insane you know. If I really believed that stuff I'd keep it to myself. Lest somebody think I was out of my mind.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul.