You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.

The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.

I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul.

Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?

Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.