You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.

Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.

Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

I got a Swede lawyer?!? She's gonna get everything!

I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.