I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.

I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

I'm trying to elevate small-talk to medium talk.