I got a Swede lawyer?!? She's gonna get everything!
You write about what you know.
I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.