Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.

I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.

You write about what you know.

I'm trying to elevate small-talk to medium talk.

I've always loathed rich people, so I've become who I've loathed, which makes it doubly difficult, if you can follow me.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.