I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell.

When you're poor, you know nothing about the future, you know nothing about the world, nothing that goes on outside 300 yards around you.

I love watching Anthony Kim play, but I'm not a fan of the way he grips down a good two inches on his full-swing shots. Choking down lightens the club's swingweight and effectively makes the shaft stiffer.

I'm really going to do my homework. I'm going to be down there on the practice tee finding out if a guy's wife beat him up the night before, important stuff like that. Stuff that people want to know.

A rough should have high grass. When you go bowling they don't give you anything for landing in the gutter, do they?

Every golfer should come to the first tee with fourteen clubs, a dozen balls, a handful of tees, and at least one great golf story

Nobody but you and your caddie care what you do out there, and if your caddie is betting against you, he doesn't care, either.