I know my name will always be linked with women.

Take my wife... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.

Slumps don't bother me.

I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.

How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.