I know my name will always be linked with women.

I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.

How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

My lad chewed and swallowed a dictionary. We gave him Epsom salts - but we can't get a word out of him.

Everyone has a family tree; the Dawsons have one, it's a weeping willow.

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.