My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
Take my wife... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.
Slumps don't bother me.
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.
I know my name will always be linked with women.
My lad chewed and swallowed a dictionary. We gave him Epsom salts - but we can't get a word out of him.