Everyone has a family tree; the Dawsons have one, it's a weeping willow.
My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.
There is a remote tribe that worships the number zero. Is nothing sacred?
Slumps don't bother me.
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.
Last year my wife ran off with the fellow next door and I must admit, I still miss him.