I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.

Everyone has a family tree; the Dawsons have one, it's a weeping willow.

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.

How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.

My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.