I took the wife's family out for tea biscuits. They weren't too happy about having to give blood though.

My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finishes up.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

I know my name will always be linked with women.

I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.

I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.