I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finishes up.

My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

My lad chewed and swallowed a dictionary. We gave him Epsom salts - but we can't get a word out of him.

I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.