I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.
Last year my wife ran off with the fellow next door and I must admit, I still miss him.
Everyone has a family tree; the Dawsons have one, it's a weeping willow.
Take my wife... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.
I know my name will always be linked with women.
I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.