He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

Last year my wife ran off with the fellow next door and I must admit, I still miss him.

I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.

I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.

I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.