My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.

Slumps don't bother me.

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

There is a remote tribe that worships the number zero. Is nothing sacred?

I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.