I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.
Les DawsonI went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.
Les DawsonI can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.
Les DawsonMy mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.
Les Dawson