My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

I took the wife's family out for tea biscuits. They weren't too happy about having to give blood though.

I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.

I know my name will always be linked with women.

Slumps don't bother me.

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

My lad chewed and swallowed a dictionary. We gave him Epsom salts - but we can't get a word out of him.