Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finishes up.

My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

I know my name will always be linked with women.

Slumps don't bother me.

I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

Last year my wife ran off with the fellow next door and I must admit, I still miss him.