Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finishes up.

How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finishes up.

Slumps don't bother me.

My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

The wife's Mother said, ‘When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave.’ I said: ‘Good, I'm being buried at sea’.

I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.