My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.
He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.
I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.
Take my wife... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.