My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.

I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.

I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.

My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

I know my name will always be linked with women.

Everyone has a family tree; the Dawsons have one, it's a weeping willow.