Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare.

I'm afraid if I don't keep moving, they're going to catch me ... I am 81 years old and I want to see what's around the corner, and I don't see any reason in the world not to keep working. But I am starting to value my down time a great deal because I am realizing there might be other things to do that I am overlooking.

It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places.

Any sport that comes from Scotland is good!

Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.

Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.

Those who the gods seek to destroy first, learn how to play golf.