Democrats should be focused on which way we can help the most people in this country, and Republicans should be focused on how to do that in the most fiscally responsible manner possible.

Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel.

I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing. No health insurance, so if something happened I was screwed. I was lucky my parents had money and my brother was willing to support me for a long time. Once I started doing standup, I had an income, and that was amazing to me.

I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.

There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.

You know what would help the instruction form? Verbs! Verbs would be nice! Because they help you get to the end of a thought!

I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet.