On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.

The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.

Yankees don't understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.

There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

In the south there's a difference between 'Naked' and 'Nekkid.' 'Naked' means you don't have any clothes on. 'Nekkid' means you don't have any clothes on and you're up to somethin'.