To me, art supplies are always okay to buy.

I do love standup. I love comedians. They're my community. Also, because I know so many of them, I know the value of them. I know what they can do.

When I see two guys kissing, I'm like, how come I can't kiss one of those guys? They look like they're having a good time.

Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt.

Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head.

A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.

I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.