I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.

I squirm when I see athletes praying before a game. Don't they realize that if God took sports seriously he never would have created George Steinbrenner.

A Consultant is a guy who knows 125 different ways to make love, but who doesn't know any women.

You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble.

The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!

You know that a given in life in human nature, is that at a sporting event, a baseball game, a football game, you never introduce a politician, is because he'll be booed. I don't care if he's the most beloved person in the world, its part of the game.

Young people, take heart: the older you get, the fewer commandments you will have the strength to break.