I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.

Young people, take heart: the older you get, the fewer commandments you will have the strength to break.

If the audience doesn't like it, usually they're just silent. But they've never all walked out at once.

A Consultant is a guy who knows 125 different ways to make love, but who doesn't know any women.

If you call your opponent a politician, it's grounds for libel.

You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble.

Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business. My business.