Young people, take heart: the older you get, the fewer commandments you will have the strength to break.

The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it.

Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business. My business.

A Consultant is a guy who knows 125 different ways to make love, but who doesn't know any women.

If you call your opponent a politician, it's grounds for libel.

Young people, take heart: the older you get, the fewer commandments you will have the strength to break.

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.