Young people, take heart: the older you get, the fewer commandments you will have the strength to break.

You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble.

Young people, take heart: the older you get, the fewer commandments you will have the strength to break.

You know that a given in life in human nature, is that at a sporting event, a baseball game, a football game, you never introduce a politician, is because he'll be booed. I don't care if he's the most beloved person in the world, its part of the game.

The thing that you're faulted on today is not that you are too tough, or not that you aren't careful. It's that you might have been too soft. People want that red meat now because you have to keep up with the mood and the mood today is harsh. It really is.

A Consultant is a guy who knows 125 different ways to make love, but who doesn't know any women.

If the audience doesn't like it, usually they're just silent. But they've never all walked out at once.