It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.

Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.

My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!"