It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!

My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.

War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.

In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.