In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.

My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

At Christmas you can get real bargains. I saw one item marked down ten dollars. It was a yacht.

The last time I saw Marilyn was in late 1959, when I appeared in Let's Make Love at Fox. The wide-eyed Marilyn I had first known was gone. This Marilyn was more beautiful than ever.

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering.

Valentine's Day is like Armistice Day - you declare a truce.