A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"

I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.

I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.

I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.

You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.

She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.