A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list