A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"

Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.

In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.

Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list

Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?