Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering.
My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.