If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
The Post Office is very careful nowadays. When they get a package marked "Fragile," they throw it underhand.
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.