My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.

I bought a Christmas tree for twenty dollars. When I came home the next day, my wife was wearing it in her hair.

Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?

She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.

What an orchestra! They just sit there, but their minds are thousands of miles away with their bookies.

I just read about a schoolteacher who got hurt. She was grading papers on a curve!

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.