I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.

In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.

It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.

Remember when you had your face lifted... and the guy brought it back.

I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!

The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.