I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.

Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.

I bought a Christmas tree for twenty dollars. When I came home the next day, my wife was wearing it in her hair.

Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?

My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.

This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"