I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.

I bought my kid an educational toy to help him make it through life. No matter how you put it together, it's wrong.

My son gave me a nice bottle of cologne - Eau de Owe.

At Christmas you can get real bargains. I saw one item marked down ten dollars. It was a yacht.

She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.