I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

An adult western is where the hero still kisses his horse at the end, only now he worries about it.

One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

Radio... that wonderful invention by which I can reach millions of people... who fortunately can't reach me.