I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

Some kids want to know why the teachers get paid when it's the kids who have to do all the work.

I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.