Laughter is an instant vacation.

She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.

Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Most attorneys practice law because it gives them a grand and glorious feeling. You give them a grand - and they feel glorious.

This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!

I really doubt whether evolution ever works, how then come Mothers have only two hands