Laughter is an instant vacation.

My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!"

At Christmas you can get real bargains. I saw one item marked down ten dollars. It was a yacht.

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"

I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.

One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?