All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

My son has a big Christmas problem - what do you buy for a father who has everything and you're using it?

My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!"

Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.

I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.