All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.

Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?

I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!