You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

Most attorneys practice law because it gives them a grand and glorious feeling. You give them a grand - and they feel glorious.

Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.

I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.

For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.