At Christmas you can get real bargains. I saw one item marked down ten dollars. It was a yacht.

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.

I bought my kid an educational toy to help him make it through life. No matter how you put it together, it's wrong.

For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.

One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.