Some kids want to know why the teachers get paid when it's the kids who have to do all the work.

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay.

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.