Some kids want to know why the teachers get paid when it's the kids who have to do all the work.

Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.

My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

Most attorneys practice law because it gives them a grand and glorious feeling. You give them a grand - and they feel glorious.

I wanted to get the guy who works next to me in the office something he really wants, but how do you wrap up a saloon?