Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
I really doubt whether evolution ever works, how then come Mothers have only two hands
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.