They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.
Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
Most attorneys practice law because it gives them a grand and glorious feeling. You give them a grand - and they feel glorious.