I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.

Laughter is an instant vacation.