I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!

My son has a big Christmas problem - what do you buy for a father who has everything and you're using it?

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself.

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.