I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.

Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?

I bought my kid an educational toy to help him make it through life. No matter how you put it together, it's wrong.

I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.

Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.

I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!

Most attorneys practice law because it gives them a grand and glorious feeling. You give them a grand - and they feel glorious.