If you hire relatives, you'll have a payroll that won't quit.
Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself.
My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.