She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.