It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.
I don't date women my age. There aren't any.
At Christmas you can get real bargains. I saw one item marked down ten dollars. It was a yacht.
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?