It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!

I wanted to get the guy who works next to me in the office something he really wants, but how do you wrap up a saloon?

One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

At Christmas you can get real bargains. I saw one item marked down ten dollars. It was a yacht.

For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.

I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.