My son has a big Christmas problem - what do you buy for a father who has everything and you're using it?

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.

What an orchestra! They just sit there, but their minds are thousands of miles away with their bookies.

Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.

I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!

I bought a Christmas tree for twenty dollars. When I came home the next day, my wife was wearing it in her hair.