A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

At the Christmas party, the secretary with the long red hair ate three pickles, and four salesmen panicked.

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay.