A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
If you hire relatives, you'll have a payroll that won't quit.
I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
Valentine's Day is like Armistice Day - you declare a truce.
We inherit a lot from our parents: mom's eyes, dad's chin, and the attitude of whichever parent isn't punishing you at the moment. All of those things we have our mom's to thank for."If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"