It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.

My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!"

The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy.

I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.

Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.