My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"

For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

When I was in school, one of my teachers was crazy about me. I once heard her tell another teacher, "I wish he was my kid for one day!"