Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering.

Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

What an orchestra! They just sit there, but their minds are thousands of miles away with their bookies.

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.