Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.
My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.
Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.