My son gave me a nice bottle of cologne - Eau de Owe.

Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.

It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.

The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn't stop until you get to school.

At Christmas you can get real bargains. I saw one item marked down ten dollars. It was a yacht.

I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.

You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.