Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.

Our local department store had two Santas - one for regular kids and one for kids who wanted ten toys or less.

Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?

Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.

This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"