Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.
There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
If you hire relatives, you'll have a payroll that won't quit.
A thing of beauty is a job forever.
This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"