My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay.

I really doubt whether evolution ever works, how then come Mothers have only two hands

My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.

At the Christmas party, the secretary with the long red hair ate three pickles, and four salesmen panicked.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.