Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.

Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

I wanted to get the guy who works next to me in the office something he really wants, but how do you wrap up a saloon?

I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.

One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.