Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.

My son gave me a nice bottle of cologne - Eau de Owe.

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?